With time various topics, most connected to the 'ancient ways,' will be covered. Some of these might be controversial in nature - you're most welcome to contribute.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Great Experiment: Squeezing an Orange ...

For many years now I've been feeling the presence of a 'great push' ... I tried to ignore it and I paid dearly for my ignorance.  Even the Wild Woman made her appearance ... her eyes mocking me in the light of my small fires ... laughing at my stubbornness and ignorance.  Coming back from the Wild North, I made a decision and the Wild Woman left me ... since then I've been on journey ... all about what is inside ...

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out ... because that is what's inside.  You can't get anything else out of an orange ... simple as that.  When you 'squeeze' a human, what comes out?  Whatever is inside will come out.  Now this is where my theory and consequent experiment begins ...

My very first memories of a complete natural state ... of expression without fear ... of Being, comes from sitting beside a small fire as a very small child ... listening to the stories of a Kavango man, Florian.  My stepfather brought him to Windhoek every now and then to work in the garden, so that he could earn a bit of much needed money.  I could ask him anything, his patience was unbelievable, as I was a handful.  I couldn't BE anywhere else like I was within his presence.  There was a natural state of mind, a natural expression, a natural spontaneous happiness and infectious laughter that I had not witnessed anywhere else.

Later we moved to the Kavango and my very first friend there was Gabriel ... a black Kavango boy about my age.  Again there was no lack of communication, no holding back ... a pure raw naturalness that can't be explained in words.  Our first year or two in the Kavango we lived in one of those big army caravan houses and close to us was a fuel depo, guarded by a huge Zoeloe with a spear and a few missing fingers ... lost in a fight.  I sat with Stompie (named because of his finger stumps) many a nights and early mornings ... staring at a small fire ... talking about life.  What a great man he was ...

Later I made more black friends ... they all walked without shoes and shirts and I followed.  This caused me great difficulties as I was quickly given the name 'Kaffirtjie' ... a term used by Europeans to describe all black people in Africa ... a word used as a deadly insult amongst Africans themselves.  I had to fight many battles against some of the local white kids ...

All my spare time was taken up by hunting and fishing in the surrounding areas ... making small fires with my black friends ... big and small.  These were the happiest times of my life ... complete freedom, complete BEING with natural people in a very natural area.  The humbleness of these people and the manners ... we can only dream of this ... never any bad blood.  It is here where I learned the abilities of 'seeing,' 'feeling' and 'knowing,' which I'll write about non-stop ...

The fights got worse and the pressure within the town got worse, especially from adults and Defence Force personnel.  I gave up the public appearances of my dearest friends, meeting secretly in the bush or by the river.  I started for the first time to mix socially with white kids ... the humbleness gone, the respect down the drain, the natural state of Being ... all gone in a flash.  Constant arguments, games of control, constant physical fights, jealousy, bullying and plain nastiness ... all things new to me.  The death of my natural state of being ...

During the last 10 years, due to impossible relationships, I was 'forced' to look deep within - searching for that natural way of Being ... that total Awareness ... the Trust ... the Respect ... the Communication.  All of which were absent within a range of relationships, including romantic relationships.

I slowly returned to places of Stillness, sitting beside small fires ... tapping into those old retained memories.  Something else appeared again ... retained memories from lives long before this one ... just like I experienced them as a child in very natural states of Being or Consciousness.

Recently I realised that how the 'what is inside' works ... why people living in a very natural environment have so much of the natural stuff inside ... and why people who broke away from everything that's natural have so much of the 'other stuff' inside.  It's all about blocking the entry of the Natural Flow of Things ... the Ultimate Energy out there.  This is not a must ... we all have a choice and it all starts with the body ... we can choose what we let in and what we put in.

Thus starts the great experiment ... of opening myself to the Natural Flow of Things ... of putting the right stuff inside ... the path to Being.  My first teachers in life taught me great things.  The natural environment I lived in and the Stillness allowed Things to enter me as a child and the memories were retained.  All I had to do, was to remember and then to put it all back into action.

This is our primary purpose in life ... the road to Consciousness ... you natural state of Being ... all given to you on a plate.  You're surrounded by the abundance of It ... it's your job to open yourself for It.

Now, I have no choice ... but to walk this Path.  Not doing it, while knowing what it's about will be the most ignorant thing to do ... spitting in the face of the Ultimate.  I'm very fortunate to have this opportunity in this life ... the ability to see how close it is and Who it is walking beside me ...

I'll prepare myself for this journey as there will be many battles ... battles of body, mind and Soul.  The biggest battles will be the fight against the mighty Ego, the fight against the self ... I'll smash that to pieces when I come across it and fall back to the humbleness I know and understand.

I'll search for places of Stillness and Solitude, I'll move away from negative pressure and when they force me in a corner, I'll fight with everything I've got - I'll leave no prisoners.  I'll fall back to my body, the vessel between the two worlds and I'll treat it with the utmost respect.  I won't give it ever again to those without heart ... those without soul ... those who speak empty words of love ... those who touch with coldness ... those without light behind the eyes.  My touch will always have my heart in my hand ... even if I have to take a life.

I've never been more ready for this ... every now and then I'll 'write' about this, as I'll be following the lightning ...  switching between the two worlds. 

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