With time various topics, most connected to the 'ancient ways,' will be covered. Some of these might be controversial in nature - you're most welcome to contribute.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Great Experiment: Squeezing an Orange ...

For many years now I've been feeling the presence of a 'great push' ... I tried to ignore it and I paid dearly for my ignorance.  Even the Wild Woman made her appearance ... her eyes mocking me in the light of my small fires ... laughing at my stubbornness and ignorance.  Coming back from the Wild North, I made a decision and the Wild Woman left me ... since then I've been on journey ... all about what is inside ...

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out ... because that is what's inside.  You can't get anything else out of an orange ... simple as that.  When you 'squeeze' a human, what comes out?  Whatever is inside will come out.  Now this is where my theory and consequent experiment begins ...

My very first memories of a complete natural state ... of expression without fear ... of Being, comes from sitting beside a small fire as a very small child ... listening to the stories of a Kavango man, Florian.  My stepfather brought him to Windhoek every now and then to work in the garden, so that he could earn a bit of much needed money.  I could ask him anything, his patience was unbelievable, as I was a handful.  I couldn't BE anywhere else like I was within his presence.  There was a natural state of mind, a natural expression, a natural spontaneous happiness and infectious laughter that I had not witnessed anywhere else.

Later we moved to the Kavango and my very first friend there was Gabriel ... a black Kavango boy about my age.  Again there was no lack of communication, no holding back ... a pure raw naturalness that can't be explained in words.  Our first year or two in the Kavango we lived in one of those big army caravan houses and close to us was a fuel depo, guarded by a huge Zoeloe with a spear and a few missing fingers ... lost in a fight.  I sat with Stompie (named because of his finger stumps) many a nights and early mornings ... staring at a small fire ... talking about life.  What a great man he was ...

Later I made more black friends ... they all walked without shoes and shirts and I followed.  This caused me great difficulties as I was quickly given the name 'Kaffirtjie' ... a term used by Europeans to describe all black people in Africa ... a word used as a deadly insult amongst Africans themselves.  I had to fight many battles against some of the local white kids ...

All my spare time was taken up by hunting and fishing in the surrounding areas ... making small fires with my black friends ... big and small.  These were the happiest times of my life ... complete freedom, complete BEING with natural people in a very natural area.  The humbleness of these people and the manners ... we can only dream of this ... never any bad blood.  It is here where I learned the abilities of 'seeing,' 'feeling' and 'knowing,' which I'll write about non-stop ...

The fights got worse and the pressure within the town got worse, especially from adults and Defence Force personnel.  I gave up the public appearances of my dearest friends, meeting secretly in the bush or by the river.  I started for the first time to mix socially with white kids ... the humbleness gone, the respect down the drain, the natural state of Being ... all gone in a flash.  Constant arguments, games of control, constant physical fights, jealousy, bullying and plain nastiness ... all things new to me.  The death of my natural state of being ...

During the last 10 years, due to impossible relationships, I was 'forced' to look deep within - searching for that natural way of Being ... that total Awareness ... the Trust ... the Respect ... the Communication.  All of which were absent within a range of relationships, including romantic relationships.

I slowly returned to places of Stillness, sitting beside small fires ... tapping into those old retained memories.  Something else appeared again ... retained memories from lives long before this one ... just like I experienced them as a child in very natural states of Being or Consciousness.

Recently I realised that how the 'what is inside' works ... why people living in a very natural environment have so much of the natural stuff inside ... and why people who broke away from everything that's natural have so much of the 'other stuff' inside.  It's all about blocking the entry of the Natural Flow of Things ... the Ultimate Energy out there.  This is not a must ... we all have a choice and it all starts with the body ... we can choose what we let in and what we put in.

Thus starts the great experiment ... of opening myself to the Natural Flow of Things ... of putting the right stuff inside ... the path to Being.  My first teachers in life taught me great things.  The natural environment I lived in and the Stillness allowed Things to enter me as a child and the memories were retained.  All I had to do, was to remember and then to put it all back into action.

This is our primary purpose in life ... the road to Consciousness ... you natural state of Being ... all given to you on a plate.  You're surrounded by the abundance of It ... it's your job to open yourself for It.

Now, I have no choice ... but to walk this Path.  Not doing it, while knowing what it's about will be the most ignorant thing to do ... spitting in the face of the Ultimate.  I'm very fortunate to have this opportunity in this life ... the ability to see how close it is and Who it is walking beside me ...

I'll prepare myself for this journey as there will be many battles ... battles of body, mind and Soul.  The biggest battles will be the fight against the mighty Ego, the fight against the self ... I'll smash that to pieces when I come across it and fall back to the humbleness I know and understand.

I'll search for places of Stillness and Solitude, I'll move away from negative pressure and when they force me in a corner, I'll fight with everything I've got - I'll leave no prisoners.  I'll fall back to my body, the vessel between the two worlds and I'll treat it with the utmost respect.  I won't give it ever again to those without heart ... those without soul ... those who speak empty words of love ... those who touch with coldness ... those without light behind the eyes.  My touch will always have my heart in my hand ... even if I have to take a life.

I've never been more ready for this ... every now and then I'll 'write' about this, as I'll be following the lightning ...  switching between the two worlds. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Killing of the Natural Spirit ...

I've maintained for long that the presence of a very low level of consciousness, within another person, is capable of inhibiting your natural 'spirit' or state.  The mere presence of such a person can 'kill' your natural creativity, inhibits the way you express yourself, the way you carry yourself.  A very negative vibrational energy from another person can actually activate all your natural instincts ... to move away from it all.  Nowadays this is not always possible, so we 'hang on' and hope for the best ... while our natural self hides away deep within ...

Laurens van der Post describes Dabé, a 'tame' Bushmen he knew ... and the 'natural spirit' of the Bushmen:

"Only the irrepressible gaiety of the Bushman of old was missing in him.  Knowing what contact with Europeans has done to aboriginal laughter in Africa, I had no right to be surprised.  Indeed I have lived with primitive people so much that I have and inkling now of the almost paralytic effect our mere presence can have on their natural spirit.  It is as if, when they first encounter us, the independence of our minds from instinct and our immense power in the physical world, which to them is not composed of inanimate matter but is another manifestation of master spirits, trap them into the belief that we are gods of a sort.  Either they feel it impossible to be themselves in our presence, or they find it so exhausting to maintain even a part of their selves that they are compelled to rid themselves of us by cunning, force, or running away.  The longer contact is maintained, the more subtly does this process work in their spirit, and the more devastating its effects.  If only we were humble enough to realize that just by what we are we play the devil with the natural spirit of man, we could mitigate some of the consequences.  But our unconscious arrogance is so great that the Bushman is left as a rule profoundly humiliated, without any shred of honour with himself, and often either deprived of the urge to live or filled with the lust to kill."       The Heart of the Hunter.

My trip up North, living for a short while in a fairly traditional Aboriginal community, can confirm the 'death of the natural spirit' within these very natural people.  Forceful removal from their land, forceful change of their lifestyle and the always white presence contributes to the killing of everything that's natural within body, mind and spirit.

Some of us still walk with freedom of spirit ... we seek Stillness and Solitude ... nearly always in Nature ... to feed our Souls.  All of these contributes to higher levels of consciousness ... which can be 'killed' instantly by those who are incapable of feeding their own souls.

I always laugh at people or those 'self-help' books that try and tell you to "just ignore those kind of people ... don't let it get to you."  No one can ignore a toxic substance ... you can only remove yourself from it ... or even better, remove the toxic substance.  Even in small quantities, it can slowly kill you.  The natural behaviour of all free natural living beings is to move away from negative pressure ... it's as simple as that.  The reason the Aboriginal and the Bushman choose to live in the desert ... a place of Stillness which the Hungry Ghosts avoids ... because there is a scarcity of Natural Souls to consume ...

If you want your natural spirit to run free ... your natural creativity to express itself in all it's beauty ... you have no choice, but to remove yourself from everything that does not serve you ... from everything that kills your natural spirit.  If you're filled with a 'toxic substance,' the abundance of everything natural won't enter you ... you have to make space for it ... the Universal Source or if you're religious ... God.

The way of opening yourself, cleansing yourself and protecting yourself is an old art ... practised for hundreds of thousands of years by your ancestors.  It's present in abundance ... you must just make space for it ... or find a desert somewhere ...

Monday, November 11, 2013

Lightning ...


It has been very dry for a while now ... yesterday lightning and thunder appeared on the horizon, getting ready for battle.

Late afternoon I shot my bow into the darkness of a storm ... lightning dancing in the shadows of black clouds.  I watched the happiness of the Moor-hens in the Bullrush ... the flight of the White Ibis ... electricity in the air.

Since I can remember ... my childhood in the Kavango ... I always wanted to follow the first lightning of the season ... on a trot without ever looking back.  Today I found this:

" ... the immense role lightning played in the lives of all living things in the desert [including the Bushmen].  It was in a sense the light of their lives.  It was to them what a compass was to a sailor in a storm, or faith to us.  In times like the present all living things in the desert waited with desperate anxiety for the lightning to come.  When it did the transformation in them was unbelievable.  It was as if suddenly they had rediscovered their lost purpose.  No matter how famished and thirsty, they would be renewed at their first glimpse of it.  Wildebeest, hartebeest, eland, zebra, gemsbuck ... and hard on their heels, wild dogs, leopard, lion and hyena would follow after it from one end of the vast wasteland to the other."  
                                                               The Heart of the Hunter - Laurens van der Post

After the dry season in the Kavango, the vegetation is covered in a grey-white dust.  The first thunderstorms, accompanied by a wild display of lightning and thunder, would cleanse the leaves and the greenness of it all is food for the Soul.  The first rains cleanse the Soul, bring hope and clear all the shadows of the mind ... created during winter.

Tonight all the sounds of the night are different ... I can hear a range of frogs for the first time this season.  The calls of various birds ... and the foxes will be out tonight.

There is a deep sadness within me ... I'm tied by the chains of life ... I want to grab my bow and follow the lightning ... on a trot ... never once looking back.  I don't want to cross roads or barbed wire ... I don't want to see the artificial lights of homes, aircraft or vehicles in the darkness.  All I want to see is the lightning and the new horizons ... the bright green leaves in the morning ... the renewed energy in all living things.  I want to leave the Shadows of the Soul behind and follow the Light ... new horizons ... the return to the Old Life ...