With time various topics, most connected to the 'ancient ways,' will be covered. Some of these might be controversial in nature - you're most welcome to contribute.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Great Experiment: Squeezing an Orange ...

For many years now I've been feeling the presence of a 'great push' ... I tried to ignore it and I paid dearly for my ignorance.  Even the Wild Woman made her appearance ... her eyes mocking me in the light of my small fires ... laughing at my stubbornness and ignorance.  Coming back from the Wild North, I made a decision and the Wild Woman left me ... since then I've been on journey ... all about what is inside ...

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out ... because that is what's inside.  You can't get anything else out of an orange ... simple as that.  When you 'squeeze' a human, what comes out?  Whatever is inside will come out.  Now this is where my theory and consequent experiment begins ...

My very first memories of a complete natural state ... of expression without fear ... of Being, comes from sitting beside a small fire as a very small child ... listening to the stories of a Kavango man, Florian.  My stepfather brought him to Windhoek every now and then to work in the garden, so that he could earn a bit of much needed money.  I could ask him anything, his patience was unbelievable, as I was a handful.  I couldn't BE anywhere else like I was within his presence.  There was a natural state of mind, a natural expression, a natural spontaneous happiness and infectious laughter that I had not witnessed anywhere else.

Later we moved to the Kavango and my very first friend there was Gabriel ... a black Kavango boy about my age.  Again there was no lack of communication, no holding back ... a pure raw naturalness that can't be explained in words.  Our first year or two in the Kavango we lived in one of those big army caravan houses and close to us was a fuel depo, guarded by a huge Zoeloe with a spear and a few missing fingers ... lost in a fight.  I sat with Stompie (named because of his finger stumps) many a nights and early mornings ... staring at a small fire ... talking about life.  What a great man he was ...

Later I made more black friends ... they all walked without shoes and shirts and I followed.  This caused me great difficulties as I was quickly given the name 'Kaffirtjie' ... a term used by Europeans to describe all black people in Africa ... a word used as a deadly insult amongst Africans themselves.  I had to fight many battles against some of the local white kids ...

All my spare time was taken up by hunting and fishing in the surrounding areas ... making small fires with my black friends ... big and small.  These were the happiest times of my life ... complete freedom, complete BEING with natural people in a very natural area.  The humbleness of these people and the manners ... we can only dream of this ... never any bad blood.  It is here where I learned the abilities of 'seeing,' 'feeling' and 'knowing,' which I'll write about non-stop ...

The fights got worse and the pressure within the town got worse, especially from adults and Defence Force personnel.  I gave up the public appearances of my dearest friends, meeting secretly in the bush or by the river.  I started for the first time to mix socially with white kids ... the humbleness gone, the respect down the drain, the natural state of Being ... all gone in a flash.  Constant arguments, games of control, constant physical fights, jealousy, bullying and plain nastiness ... all things new to me.  The death of my natural state of being ...

During the last 10 years, due to impossible relationships, I was 'forced' to look deep within - searching for that natural way of Being ... that total Awareness ... the Trust ... the Respect ... the Communication.  All of which were absent within a range of relationships, including romantic relationships.

I slowly returned to places of Stillness, sitting beside small fires ... tapping into those old retained memories.  Something else appeared again ... retained memories from lives long before this one ... just like I experienced them as a child in very natural states of Being or Consciousness.

Recently I realised that how the 'what is inside' works ... why people living in a very natural environment have so much of the natural stuff inside ... and why people who broke away from everything that's natural have so much of the 'other stuff' inside.  It's all about blocking the entry of the Natural Flow of Things ... the Ultimate Energy out there.  This is not a must ... we all have a choice and it all starts with the body ... we can choose what we let in and what we put in.

Thus starts the great experiment ... of opening myself to the Natural Flow of Things ... of putting the right stuff inside ... the path to Being.  My first teachers in life taught me great things.  The natural environment I lived in and the Stillness allowed Things to enter me as a child and the memories were retained.  All I had to do, was to remember and then to put it all back into action.

This is our primary purpose in life ... the road to Consciousness ... you natural state of Being ... all given to you on a plate.  You're surrounded by the abundance of It ... it's your job to open yourself for It.

Now, I have no choice ... but to walk this Path.  Not doing it, while knowing what it's about will be the most ignorant thing to do ... spitting in the face of the Ultimate.  I'm very fortunate to have this opportunity in this life ... the ability to see how close it is and Who it is walking beside me ...

I'll prepare myself for this journey as there will be many battles ... battles of body, mind and Soul.  The biggest battles will be the fight against the mighty Ego, the fight against the self ... I'll smash that to pieces when I come across it and fall back to the humbleness I know and understand.

I'll search for places of Stillness and Solitude, I'll move away from negative pressure and when they force me in a corner, I'll fight with everything I've got - I'll leave no prisoners.  I'll fall back to my body, the vessel between the two worlds and I'll treat it with the utmost respect.  I won't give it ever again to those without heart ... those without soul ... those who speak empty words of love ... those who touch with coldness ... those without light behind the eyes.  My touch will always have my heart in my hand ... even if I have to take a life.

I've never been more ready for this ... every now and then I'll 'write' about this, as I'll be following the lightning ...  switching between the two worlds. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Killing of the Natural Spirit ...

I've maintained for long that the presence of a very low level of consciousness, within another person, is capable of inhibiting your natural 'spirit' or state.  The mere presence of such a person can 'kill' your natural creativity, inhibits the way you express yourself, the way you carry yourself.  A very negative vibrational energy from another person can actually activate all your natural instincts ... to move away from it all.  Nowadays this is not always possible, so we 'hang on' and hope for the best ... while our natural self hides away deep within ...

Laurens van der Post describes Dabé, a 'tame' Bushmen he knew ... and the 'natural spirit' of the Bushmen:

"Only the irrepressible gaiety of the Bushman of old was missing in him.  Knowing what contact with Europeans has done to aboriginal laughter in Africa, I had no right to be surprised.  Indeed I have lived with primitive people so much that I have and inkling now of the almost paralytic effect our mere presence can have on their natural spirit.  It is as if, when they first encounter us, the independence of our minds from instinct and our immense power in the physical world, which to them is not composed of inanimate matter but is another manifestation of master spirits, trap them into the belief that we are gods of a sort.  Either they feel it impossible to be themselves in our presence, or they find it so exhausting to maintain even a part of their selves that they are compelled to rid themselves of us by cunning, force, or running away.  The longer contact is maintained, the more subtly does this process work in their spirit, and the more devastating its effects.  If only we were humble enough to realize that just by what we are we play the devil with the natural spirit of man, we could mitigate some of the consequences.  But our unconscious arrogance is so great that the Bushman is left as a rule profoundly humiliated, without any shred of honour with himself, and often either deprived of the urge to live or filled with the lust to kill."       The Heart of the Hunter.

My trip up North, living for a short while in a fairly traditional Aboriginal community, can confirm the 'death of the natural spirit' within these very natural people.  Forceful removal from their land, forceful change of their lifestyle and the always white presence contributes to the killing of everything that's natural within body, mind and spirit.

Some of us still walk with freedom of spirit ... we seek Stillness and Solitude ... nearly always in Nature ... to feed our Souls.  All of these contributes to higher levels of consciousness ... which can be 'killed' instantly by those who are incapable of feeding their own souls.

I always laugh at people or those 'self-help' books that try and tell you to "just ignore those kind of people ... don't let it get to you."  No one can ignore a toxic substance ... you can only remove yourself from it ... or even better, remove the toxic substance.  Even in small quantities, it can slowly kill you.  The natural behaviour of all free natural living beings is to move away from negative pressure ... it's as simple as that.  The reason the Aboriginal and the Bushman choose to live in the desert ... a place of Stillness which the Hungry Ghosts avoids ... because there is a scarcity of Natural Souls to consume ...

If you want your natural spirit to run free ... your natural creativity to express itself in all it's beauty ... you have no choice, but to remove yourself from everything that does not serve you ... from everything that kills your natural spirit.  If you're filled with a 'toxic substance,' the abundance of everything natural won't enter you ... you have to make space for it ... the Universal Source or if you're religious ... God.

The way of opening yourself, cleansing yourself and protecting yourself is an old art ... practised for hundreds of thousands of years by your ancestors.  It's present in abundance ... you must just make space for it ... or find a desert somewhere ...

Monday, November 11, 2013

Lightning ...


It has been very dry for a while now ... yesterday lightning and thunder appeared on the horizon, getting ready for battle.

Late afternoon I shot my bow into the darkness of a storm ... lightning dancing in the shadows of black clouds.  I watched the happiness of the Moor-hens in the Bullrush ... the flight of the White Ibis ... electricity in the air.

Since I can remember ... my childhood in the Kavango ... I always wanted to follow the first lightning of the season ... on a trot without ever looking back.  Today I found this:

" ... the immense role lightning played in the lives of all living things in the desert [including the Bushmen].  It was in a sense the light of their lives.  It was to them what a compass was to a sailor in a storm, or faith to us.  In times like the present all living things in the desert waited with desperate anxiety for the lightning to come.  When it did the transformation in them was unbelievable.  It was as if suddenly they had rediscovered their lost purpose.  No matter how famished and thirsty, they would be renewed at their first glimpse of it.  Wildebeest, hartebeest, eland, zebra, gemsbuck ... and hard on their heels, wild dogs, leopard, lion and hyena would follow after it from one end of the vast wasteland to the other."  
                                                               The Heart of the Hunter - Laurens van der Post

After the dry season in the Kavango, the vegetation is covered in a grey-white dust.  The first thunderstorms, accompanied by a wild display of lightning and thunder, would cleanse the leaves and the greenness of it all is food for the Soul.  The first rains cleanse the Soul, bring hope and clear all the shadows of the mind ... created during winter.

Tonight all the sounds of the night are different ... I can hear a range of frogs for the first time this season.  The calls of various birds ... and the foxes will be out tonight.

There is a deep sadness within me ... I'm tied by the chains of life ... I want to grab my bow and follow the lightning ... on a trot ... never once looking back.  I don't want to cross roads or barbed wire ... I don't want to see the artificial lights of homes, aircraft or vehicles in the darkness.  All I want to see is the lightning and the new horizons ... the bright green leaves in the morning ... the renewed energy in all living things.  I want to leave the Shadows of the Soul behind and follow the Light ... new horizons ... the return to the Old Life ...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Power of Fire ...

Since I can remember, I've always maintained that I don't belong to 'this world' ... the false civilized forest with plastic trees and beings without soul.  Today I found this ... a long lost book from my childhood - 'Reflections on Wilderness.'  I kept this book, because of this:

He sat on lonely vigil by the fire, but
he was not alone.  His thoughts
were centred upon those things greater
than the fire itself, ay even greater
that the world itself ...

For as the flames flickered, so did
the flames of his soul stir and
flicker, and the spark of 
remembrance was there.

Was he not child of fire and earth and
water and air, even of the great
beyond?  Was he not part of the great
interdependence of all things?  How
could he be separate if he knew
in his heart that he was not?  The flames
of his now-alighted soul told him so,
and surely he was better guided by
this intuition that the cold, matter-
of-fact reasoning of the material
concrete world.

He now felt free, unfettered, a part of
the whole ... even more ... the
whole itself.  There were no bounds for his
opportunity.  The stars he saw above
were his to have and hold, the breeze
was the breath of life, the earth
was the mother of his body, and the fire
- was it not the accumulation of all
these things rising in consuming
flame to once more rise and be with
that above?

A Ride Out ...

Hard hot day ... hours of honest labour,
sun drawing water ... sweat on granite ...

Running in the heat of the day,
bursts of energy ... I'm alive ...

Walking past my horse ... tired,
nose in my neck ... electrifying.

Slowly brushing my horse,
energy slowly filling me ...

Smell of horse,
smell of leather ...

Tiredness gone, view from high,
small quail aiming for the sky ...

Slow canters up the ridge,
blending of horse sweat and mine ...

Horse ears move with slightest sound,
my lower body part of the horse ...

Tracks of the sly boar,
the married dingos ..

Three curious fox cubs,
hiding amongst granite boulders ...

Flight of wallabies in the shrub,
stomping of kangaroos in the shadows ...

Crystal clear and still waters,
reflecting my soul to the skies ...

Coming back ... dark hills,
covered by yellow candle light ...

Kookaburra announcing death of the day,
large bats filling evening sky ...

All this beauty in a single ride,
I'm alive ... life is beautiful ...

Friday, October 18, 2013

Wild Woman Explained ...?

I have 'written' a lot about the 'Wild Woman' ... confusing to some and there was a stage in my life, actually a very long phase, where I didn't get it myself.  I can only explain it as follows ...

All of us have the ability to 'inner guidance' ... but we must be willing to look for it.  I was lucky, as I grew up in a very natural environment - the Kavango in northern Namibia.  The people of that area, the Kavangos and the Bushman, lived very close to Nature ... with an infectious natural joy and energy.

It is hard to put in words, but I've learned as a child that there is a natural guidance ... very strongly connected to Nature.  By 'letting go' ... we can all let that into our own Being.  The 'feelings' that arise from that natural flow is connected to all things, including very ancient 'knowing' ... the ability to See and Feel, which is again hard to explain in words.

Once you've let that into your 'life' (remember that you don't have a life ... you are Life) ... a certain 'guiding force' never, never let go of you.  It is this 'force' I've been 'fighting' for a long time ... we all do this, because we live in a split world and within us there are Two, sometimes more.  The Ultimate One is Still and not a show pony, therefore you'll only find it in Stillness.  The other or others are very visible and attracted to everything that's not Still ... and we live in a very busy world today ... the reason some of us never meet the One.  The 'others' can never get enough of the things you don't want ...

Whenever my life situation was very wrong, as strong guiding force made itself (herself) know ... always in places of Stillness ... watching me in Silence with a frightening Wisdom.  I always fought this, therefore reading it the wrong way.  It took me a lot of peeling ... the peeling of layers and layers ... to see it for what it was ... to let it in ...

The presence of the Wild Woman was most visible when I let myself into toxic relationships ... relationships that only scratched the surface ... in other words, the physical side of things.  This was a very low level of consciousness ... therefore a path I can never walk again.

Walking this current path ... a path with Heart and Soul ... with a very present 'force of guidance' ... one can never get involved with 'things' at the lower end of consciousness.  Everything must have Heart and Soul ...

In short the 'Wild Woman' can be described as an 'inner guide' connected to the natural flow of things ... the Ultimate Source of All Things.  A messenger between the depths of your most Inner Being and the Ultimate Source ... if it makes any sense ...

Cleansing of Body, Mind & Soul ...

You can't have a house filled with light and fresh air with all the doors, windows and curtains shut.  You can't have a house of Stillness if you live in a 'city' that never sleeps, with neighbours from hell.  You can't have a house a house that smells clean and fresh if you live next to a rubbish dump ...

Even if your house is surrounded by the beauty of Nature and you keep all the windows and doors open ... you still have to open all the internal doors, so that the air and energy can flow straight through your home.  You can't have a dark room filled with clutter and dust, as it casts a Shadow of negativity onto everything else ...

Even if you do keep all the external and internal doors open, you can't fill all the space with stuff you don't need ... you'll block the natural flow of air, light and energy.  All of these must flow through your home, like it flows through the beauty of Nature.  You must bring the ultimate energy from outside to the inside ...

Doing all of this is not enough, as Nature function in Stillness ... but it's never lazy ... it cleanses itself continuously ... at a pace that's not always visible ... and it never, never complains ...

It is not possible to have a clean house filled with the positive energy of Nature if you never take out the rubbish, never clean the house.  You can't leave a toilet, shower or kitchen sink blocked.  You can't let pigs run amok in your house ... just as you can't let negative energy into your place of Stillness and beauty.

If you are of low energy, because you don't look after yourself and you let the Shadows of Darkness infest your Soul ... you'll never have the energy, will or drive to keep a clean house.  The reason you must look after yourself as best as you can ...

We are talking about a house ... but most of us don't realise that 'we' do live for a short while within your own bodies, which is not that different from a house.  You cannot live in this body without opening the doors and windows ... without letting the light and energy from outside flow to the inside ...

You can't clutter your body with rubbish and expect a flow of positive energy or an abundance of energy.  You can't clutter your mind with the same old sad stories, shelves of it, stacks of it .... playing non-stop like old black and white movies ... never a moment of Stillness ...

Your body is fully capable of cleansing itself, all you have to do is not to fill it with rubbish and keep all the organs of excretion open and fully functioning.  If you tax your liver, for example ... the main detoxifying organ of the body - all the other organs of excretion struggle to keep up.  Soon you'll be left without energy ... tired ... and you'll grab for 'things' to lift you up.  Most of us then keep a 'good' outer appearance ... to 'keep up appearances' ... but the inside is falling apart.  There are shut doors, rooms full of rubbish ... the constant mental noise ... we drink pills or look deep into the bottle, just to 'sleep' ... only to wake up in the middle of the night to watch the old black and white movies on the whiteness of the bedroom wall ...

What we forget is that for 95% of our human history ... we never, never had to worry about any of these ... we walked with the Ultimate Source, we lived it ... let it flow right through us.  We drank pure water and we ate fresh food, we moved around every single day ... which kept all the doors and windows open ... the energy flowing ...

Only recently, that all stopped ... we became shorter, fatter and passive ... lazy.  Some of us were very smart and found ways to shut the mental noise ... to return to Stillness.  Others found ways of opening the Windows of the Soul, so that we can 'see' again.  Others found ways of moving the stagnant energy around, creating internal space ...

All of these are very important if we want to continue living in the 'human world' increasingly removed from Nature ... a world with so many blocks and clutter ... constant traps of short term 'pleasure' and a complete lack of natural energy.

Today it is an art to separate yourself from that world ... to return to places of Stillness ... to let the energy from Nature flow through your Being.  It is an art to return to the abundance of Energy, the ability to See and Feel ...

Monday, September 16, 2013

About Seeing ...

I often 'write' about 'seeing,' because it is such an important, but very neglected, ability we have.  In Buddhist philosophy the aspect of 'right view' or right seeing is very important and the first item of the Eightfold Path.  I am lucky, as I've found a book all about 'seeing:' Separate Reality: Conversations With Don Juan, Carlos Castaneda.

"Don Juan's particular interest ... was to teach me to 'see.'  Apparently in his system of knowledge there was the possibility of making a semantic difference between 'seeing' and 'looking' as two distinct manners of perceiving.  'Looking referred to the ordinary way in which we are accustomed to perceive the world, while 'seeing' entailed a very complex process by virtue of which a man of knowledge allegedly perceives the 'essence' of the things of the world."

I can't help making a very strong connection between 'those who see' and Nature.  Nature very rarely gives us the full picture ... it leaves little tracks and trails ... and me must read all of this, connect all the dots to 'see' the full picture.  A certain level of awareness is needed to be able to do this ...

When one really 'see,' you see things that others don't see and you understand things that others don't understand.  This is not a special gift, it is just a matter of 'seeing' things as they are.  Those who really 'see' find it hard to establish long lasting relationships, as it is a permanent path of growth ... not many are willing to walk this path.  Those who see, I've found, are always very 'sensitive' ... because they refuse to develop a thick skin, as they prefer to 'feel' as well.  Being sensitive means they prefer places of Stillness ...

I love horses, because they are very sensitive beings and they prefer places of Stillness.  Horses also do 'see' ... they can pick your feelings, the way you walk and read you in split seconds.  Like those who see, horses understand the concepts of communication, trust and respect.

When I 'see' a horse I know if I stick to 'right' communication, trust and respect ... 95% of horses will also 'see' me.  Seeing certain qualities within humans have the opposite affect ... 95% of humans will fight or breach the concepts of communication, trust and respect.  They'll hide, put on different faces, tell you all the things they think you want to hear.  This is because humans carry something with them ... ego ... a creature who feeds on everything but communication, trust and respect ... these are like poison to the ego.

For those who do see, the pain caused by lack of communication, the breach of trust and the lack of respect can be very hard to take and impossible to live with.  Due to the pain, most prefer to grow a thick skin and go with the flow ... not to see and not to feel ...

A Path with Heart?

I'm reading 'The Tao of Physics' again ... read it twenty years ago.  Strange how things work ... as I've been scribbling about paths, seeing, knowing and 'things that can't be explained by words,'  for a while ...

The first chapter: Modern Physics - A Path with a Heart?  Then this quote:

"Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you ... Look at every path closely and deliberately.  Try it as many times as you think necessary.  Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question ... Does this path have a heart?  If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use.          (Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Juan"

Chapter 2: Knowing and Seeing.

'Right seeing' and 'right knowing' is part of Buddhist philosophy ... described by D.T. Suzuki as follows:

" ... for seeing is at the basis of knowing.  Knowing is impossible without seeing; all knowledge has its origin in seeing."

Chapter 3: Beyond Language.

"The contradiction so puzzling to the ordinary way of thinking comes from the fact that we have to use language to communicate our inner experience which in its very nature transcends linguistics."         (D.T. Suzuki)

For those interested, the book is an exploration of the parallels between modern physics and eastern mysticism ... my believe is that we have depths of retained memories and wisdom ... both are within and not out there.  All we have to do is to look (see) within and the 'knowing' will follow ... this is not an 'ancient art' it's something we all have ... but we forgot ...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Little Messengers ...

The Spotted Pardalote has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now.  I first 'discovered' this little bird while taking a break hunting pigs.  I sat against a dry river bank and this little bird appeared from nowhere, nearly landing on my shoulder ... then it was gone ...


I looked around and right next to my ear I saw this little hole in the sand ... next moment out came the little bird again.  I was fascinated as I'm only familiar with 'kingfishers' and swallows in Africa that nest in holes in river banks.  This little bird is tiny, only about 90mm long with very unusual colours.  More unique is that the holes they build their nests in are sometimes only a foot off the ground.  Any snake can easily enter the nest ... so what is their secret?

During the day they are rarely seen, as they feed very high up in the trees ... but they build their nests nearly on the ground and in the ground.  I have a pair nesting in a little whole in the wall of the house ... they breed there every year.  They have absolutely no fear of humans and you can put your face right next to the hole and they'll just continue their business.  How they don't get killed by predators is a mystery to me ...

In Africa, a few little birds played a role in my life ... 'little' messengers I called them.  Here Down Under, the Blue Fairy Wren and the Pardalote often 'talk' to me.

Today, something very unusual happened.  I gathered some sand for a job , in the bush ... the shovel disturbed something that looked like a rats nest.  I immediately just knew it was the nest of a Pardalote.  I stopped and searched for the hole ... found it.  As I've already damaged the nest I started with the entrance and slowly dug open the tunnel.  I found the most amazing little nest with three little eggs in it ... one of the eggs were slightly damaged.

 I measured the eggs - 13mm long.  I candled the eggs tonight, can't see that any is fertile ...

 Entrance to the tunnel on the left.  How this little bird dig tunnels of up to a meter long, then designs a room and a nest on the other end ... mystery to me ...

I've been feeling fairly off the last few days, a few things on my mind ... some heavy decisions to be made.  The moment I hit that nest, not even sure what it was, everything opened up.  I felt sad for the Pardalote, but knew it was not going to fall into a depression, nor sit in a corner crying all day long ... it's going to continue doing what it does best ... get on with life.  This little bird ... so small ... so many predators ... so brave and so beautiful ... never stopping, always moving forward.  No time to dwell on 'what can go wrong next?'

It is difficult to explain in words ... everything that zipped through my mind at that very moment ... the things that became clear to me.  The little bird on my mind for weeks now and today I found it's secret and the little bird showed me the way ... again ...

Video Clip of the Pardalote leaving it's nest.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The Knowing (1) ...

Every now and then I 'write' or talk about 'the Knowing' that's coming back to me.  This is actually just plain and simple intuition.  I also 'write' about 'retained memories' and 'seeing,' which again are things we all have, but sometimes choose to ignore.

Mona Lisa Schulz (MD, PhD) is a neuropsychiatrist and neuroscientist, but also a medical intuitive.  She has written a beautiful book, Awakening Intuition, which explains our intuitive abilities and also why some of us choose to ignore it.  'Bits' about intuition out of her book:

"... contrary to the prevailing myth, it doesn't exist exclusively among a small band of individuals who possess some sort of extraordinary God-given power.  Intuition is just another sense, like seeing or feeling or hearing.  Moreover, it's a sense we all share.  We are all intuitive."

"So from my earliest days, the message I received ... and I believe it's the message most of us receive, was that intuition was bad, while intelligence was good,  Intuition is suspected; intelligence is accepted.

This message was no doubt reinforced for me when my parents, concerned that I wasn't normal, took me in for a psychological evaluation at the age of seven.  Although I received a clean bill of health, it was clear to me that what I had to do was to put aside my intuition and to work very, very hard at being 'smart."

Unfortunately, this is what happens to most of us in our little 'new' world ... intuition is killed very quickly with a big and heavy stick.  We all know that this ability is very present in the animals we keep.  I have seen the power of intuition in hunter-gatherer societies, especially the Bushmen from Southern Africa.  These abilities have been written up for centuries by modern man as he encountered 'primitive' man all over the world.

This is not a special gift to a special person ... this is something we all have ... all we have to do, is to go back to who we really are ... go back to Stillness and look deep within.

Once you're very aware, intuition helps you to make decisions.  There is seeing, like I see a bird in a tree ... or there's 'seeing' ... I see the things inside you, those you choose to hide.  There's  feeling, like I feel the heat of the sun on my back ... or there's 'feeling' ... I feel the energy surrounding you, whether it's false, negative or positive. 

Intuition helps us to save time ... it was used to help us find food, water and shelter ... pointed danger out to us.  Today we waste so much time in wrong situations, whether it is work related or relationships.  We all have retained memories, which direct us and shows us who we really are and we all have intuition, which can smell a rat or help us to heal ... on the outside and on the inside ...

Once we push intuition to the side ... we are lost.  Intuition is strongly linked to our energy levels ... and our awareness ...  something most of us have little of ...

What we eat, drink and occupy ourselves with ... the things that gallops through our minds ... all affects the energy within us, the light behind the eyes, the energy surrounding us ... making us who we are at that moment ... and is what we'll attract ...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Sawubona ...I See You ...

I often 'write' about the greeting "I see you."  This is very much integrated in greetings in Southern Africa, especially by the Zulu and Bushmen.  The Zulu greeting 'Sawubona' means 'I see you' and the response, Ngikhona' means 'I am here.'  This literally means that until you saw me, I didn't exist ... by recognising me, you brought me into existence.  In Zulu there's a saying, 'Umuntu ngumuntu nagabantu,' meaning, 'A person is a person because of other people.'

This is a personal validation from everyone you encounter, seeing them for who they are.  This 'caters' for the powerful intrinsic human need for validation.  Our Western greetings do not even come close to this, it only scratches the surface.  Our greetings are mostly automatic responses ... we don't really see or recognise another.  This greeting 'I see you' has very much to do with awareness and the present moment ...

Today I met two very special and beautiful souls, the husband is 90 years old and his wife in her early 80's.  This was a very powerful exchange of 'seeing' and 'feeling.'  This was not planned, just something I do every now and then ... turn up on a property to quote on something.

... to fully understand this, I must explain the 'seeing' factor.  One author asked the members of a Kalahari Bushmen clan if they can all recognise each others foot prints in the sand.  They looked at him in shock, because they thought all humans could do that ...  'Seeing' is something we all had ... once, it is not something special ... we've just lost it, because of a complete lack of awareness.

I always thought everyone can 'see' what I can see and 'feel' what I can feel.  It came as a shock when I realised that most cannot 'see' or even worse ... choose not to see.  The same with 'feeling.'  With both of these come and openness and a directness ... nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed off, as we are all beings floating in the soup of humanity, humble beneath our own consciousness.  Once we loose our awareness we tend to put ourselves below or way above the 'seeing' and 'feeling' factors, because we have separated ourselves from the universal consciousness.

In an un-conscious world we 'have' to disconnect ourselves so that we don't feel and don't see ... We learn to speak another language, dance another dance, sing foreign songs and walk another's path.

'Touch me, but please not with your heart in your hand' ... which basically means if you do that then it means I have to do the same ... just too complicated and it seems like work.
'Look at me, but please don't look behind my eyes' ... a no go zone.
'Make love to my body, but please not to my soul' ... we need awareness for that.
'I love you' ... only means when I feel like it, otherwise I'll pull it back.  If you don't give me what I want ... 'love' will turn into any other four letter word.

Today I looked into the eyes of two people who understand all the concepts of communication, trust and respect ... the importance of seeing and feeling.  The last few years I kept to the Shadows of Unawareness, I did cut most of the 'seeing' and 'feeling' out.  What followed is very difficult to describe, but I'll try ...

I sat in a very old traditional kitchen with an old wooden stove ... two pairs of the bluest piercing eyes looking at me across a solid wooden table ... no coldness there, just the warmth of the kitchen and the warm Light behind their eyes.  Suddenly there was a connection, because I had no urge to hide the Shadows of my Soul ... it felt as if one hell of a wave hit my soul with a blast ... it felt very clean.  There was an energy I could feel so clearly and I could see it and feel within them ...

Much later, after we've fixed the world I shook the man's hand and this same jolt hit me between the eyes ... it was very emotional, within him and myself.  On the way home I was flooded with a mix of emotions of 'feeling' and 'seeing' - I could sense everything they've been through and all the Shadows within my Soul, I suddenly could 'see' clearly ...

I'm not a person that cries ... crying came very late for me in life, only when I reached my middle thirties and after I've met a beautiful soul ... the One that taught me to cry ...  I had to pull off the road, because I was suddenly overwhelmed by absolute beauty of Life and I've been swimming in it all day long.

Something happened to me on the way back from up North ... the beginning of a Path, something I cannot neglect anymore ... just something I need to do.  The moment I realised this, the Wild One left me ...

What I call the Knowing is slowly coming back to me and this time I'll never hide it again, I'll never be ashamed of it again.  I'll never teach myself again not to look to deep into peoples eyes, because they get upset about it.  I didn't get upset today, I welcomed it ... because if felt right.  If people really See You, it's a beautiful thing ... if you don't like it, don't understand it, don't feel comfortable with it ... look deep within and you'll find your own beauty ... because others Do see it, you must just recognise that ...

This might all sound strange, but I've experienced the Power of Consciousness on various levels.  I've seen it within other people and how a simple touch with awareness can change someone's life.  I've also experienced how any seeing or touching with awareness can scare the hell out of somebody ... because they prefer the Shadows with all the dust balls.  I'm also aware of the cruelty the lack of awareness can cause - 'I Don't See You ... Therefore You Don't Exist.'  This was one of the cruellest methods of exclusion and punishment members of a hunter-gatherer clan/tribe could inflict on a single person ... yet, we do this with each other on a daily basis.

The lack of awareness in any relationship is a slow method of killing souls ... yet it is also the way of looking deep within yourself to find your own consciousness.  You can only find other conscious people if you can 'see' and  'feel.'

Two beautiful souls, who I can't thank enough for 'seeing' me ... casting light onto the Shadows of my Soul ...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Love ... a Creative Activity ...

 "The active character of love is primarily giving, not receiving ..."

 Perhaps one of the most important intellectual abilities that made the evolution of science and art possible is creativity. Science and art are, however, not the only creative aspects of human culture ... the entire lives of hunter-gatherers in the Kalahari Desert were steeped in creative thinking.

Love, for example, is also a creative activity and plays a fundamental role in social relations. A characteristic feature of hunter-gatherer societies was the egalitarian sharing of food. What was perhaps most significant was that hunters and gatherers did not all contribute the same amount of food. The best hunters contributed much more meat than the poorest hunters. Furthermore, women provided more plant foods than men provided meat, except in the higher latitudes. This means that the better hunters contributed more meat than they expected to receive in return, while women provided more plant food than the meat they expected to receive in return, especially the women who were married to the less successful hunters. For egalitarian sharing to have been possible, the most successful hunters and gatherers had to have the capacity to give more than they expected to receive in return.


The active character of love is primarily giving, not receiving.  Love was therefore a necessity in hunter-gatherer subsistence, and may well have originated with the evolution of hunter-gatherer societies.


The Art of Tracking - The Origin of Science (Louis Liebenberg)

Today it is seen as normal to hook a single person with 'love' ... as in romantic love.  Very soon the fire stop burning, because one can only look for 'outward' love for so long.  Loving kindness goes a long way, because it's a pure out flow of love from the inside, continuously generated within due to a true connection/awareness/consciousness with universal loving kindness ... a fire that can never stop burning ...

I really enjoy this book, as the 'art of tracking' has such a strong connection to awareness/consciousness, which leads to creativity ... loving kindness ... higher levels of consciousness ...

Monday, September 2, 2013

Being 'Spoor' Conscious ...

I'm busy reading, 'The Art of Tracking - The Origin of Science,' by Louis Liebenberg.  The following paragraph caught my eye ... I became very much aware of the 'spoor' people leave all over their own 'consciousness':

Perhaps an equally important factor in nature conservation is the development of a general awareness of wildlife among the general public. Ignorance by the public at large may well he the most dangerous threat to the survival of many species in the face of "advancement" and "progress". Even keen nature lovers are often unaware of the wealth of animal life around them, simply because most animals are rarely seen. I once encountered a group of about a dozen hikers who walked right over a perfectly clear leopard spoor. Not one of them noticed it, simply because they were not "spoor conscious". To them the leopard simply did not exist. Yet to find a fresh leopard spoor in the wilderness adds an exciting new dimension to hiking.  Such a wilderness may appear desolate to the untrained eye, hut if you are at least "spoor conscious·· it will he full of the signs of wildlife. Even if you never see the animals, the knowledge that they are there is enough.  By reconstructing their movements from their footprints, you may he able to visualise the animals and in your imagination actually "see" them. In this way a whole story may unfold, a story of what happened when no one was looking.

If you are familiar with the art of tracking, then you'll know and understand that total awareness is necessary.  Liebenberg describes it as follows:

According to a popular misconception, nature is "like an open book" to the expert tracker and such an expert needs only enough skill to "read everything that is written in the sand". A more appropriate analogy would be that the expert tracker must be able to "read between the lines". Trackers themselves cannot read everything in the sand. Rather, they must be able to read into the sand. To interpret tracks and signs trackers must project themselves into the position of the animal in order to create a hypothetical explanation of what the animal was doing. Tracking is not strictly empirical, since it also involves the tracker's imagination. Generally speaking, ore may argue that science is not only a product of objective observation of the world through sense perception. It is also a product of the human imagination.  A creative hypothesis is not found or discovered in the outside world, it comes from within the human mind.

This is exactly the reason why the Bushman and the Australian Aboriginal, actually any hunter-gatherer or any tracker worth his salt are able to read people so well.  You can't hide anything ...



Whatever you do, think or hide deep within ... left a spoor over your consciousness.  Depending on the skill of the 'tracker,' he or she can pick things up that you might not be able to see or feel ... because you're not that aware or conscious yourself.

In a world where most of us have lost the ancient skills, we are now safe to hide our little souls and secrets ... because their are very few trackers that can read the spoor ...

I have been in relationships where a lot of doors were shut, because the other person lives in a world without openness and honesty ... but, the spoor is clear for those who can read it, read between the lines and construct the full picture.

In the presence of a 'tracker' these people soon feel very uncomfortable and they run around trying to shut doors, kick dust over evidence and jump from rock to rock ... so that you can't read the markings on their consciousness.  They can see in your eyes, what you see, they can feel how the picture forms and they'll run like rabbits to hide from you ...

Trackers are hunters and the spoor is not the only things they see, they can also sense the levels of energy in those they track ... they can pick a weakness and they can read between the lines and they can construct the full picture.

Every thought that flutters through your mind affects your energy levels ... so does every unconscious act leave a blood trail across your own consciousness ... to be picked up by those who can read all the signs.

Due to the highest levels of unconsciousness every known by mankind, people now get away with things, because they can hide ... but those who can read the spoor can still see them for what they are.  This skill is deeply connected to consciousness ...

There is nothing as pathetic and destructive as a dishonest human being looking you straight in the eye, feeling very confident that you can't see the blood trails of dishonesty they've left.  They live with a lie which is impossible to hide.  They'll walk past things of beauty, not recognising it ... as they are so busy covering up their own dirty tracks ...

Monday, August 26, 2013

The Energy Lessons (3) ...

There are various ways demonstrating the negative influence of various 'energies' on your own energy system. Simple muscle testing techniques can be used to show the negative influence of a single thought that entered your mind.

In the Martial Arts there are techniques that can be used ... through eyes, mind, hand movements and light touch, to weaken an opponent.  This can easily be demonstrated.  Similar techniques can therefore be used to strengthen another person's energy system ... very well known in various healing systems all over the world.

Every single thought, bit of food or drink that enters your body, carries a certain energy that can either weaken or strengthen you.  The presence of certain people can instantly weaken you ... or strengthen you.  There's a continuous flow of energy, not necessarily through touch, but through the energy fields surrounding us.  If you are very aware of your own energy, it is possible to protect yourself from various negative energies ... or protecting others from your own negative energy.  If you're not ... energy can leave you like water leaving an open tap.

There are people who are totally incapable of cultivating and/or maintaining their own energy levels ... they rely on others to feed themselves energy wise.  This can be done consciously or unconsciously ... in a positive way or in a negative way.  Either way, it's a flow of energy towards them ... but never much of a flow towards others ...

These individuals rely on their 'cleverness' to pull you into their own energy field ... 'connecting' to your strength and sucking you dry, leaving you feeling empty.  They are very clever in talking any talk, walking any walk and dancing any dance ... they rely on this to keep themselves going.  Your only protection is complete awareness of energy fields ... once you know what to look for, or rather to 'feel' for ... it'll hit you between the eyes.  You'll know immediately how to handle these individuals ... how to protect yourself.

When consciousness leaves us ... this is what we do as well ... we suck others into our little world and suck them dry. This is not necessarily always a negative situation, as long as we are aware of the complete exchange of energy ... how much to give, how much to take ... how to appreciate this source of energy.

If we reach a certain level of consciousness, then we realise that we don't need others to feed us with energy ... we can cultivate this ourselves, because it's all around us.  We have to find the Stillness within us ... the Stillness out there ... connect ...

Through complete awareness we can only attract what we are, we'll have enough energy to give, we'll know when to stop ... when to find Stillness and we'll know how to take, exchange and appreciate Energy.

Most of us love our animals and it is well recorded how a dog or a horse can lift someone's energy ... pull someone out of a coma ... bring smiles to faces.  Our animals gives us unconditionally as they have an abundance of this energy. Anyone understanding horses without fear, knows the powerful silent energy of the horse.  When you're down and out, a simple touch can send shock waves through your system and lift you up.  Handling a horse with awareness change your whole energy field ...

Be vary aware of those who don't understand animals, who can't stand to be around them ... it's them who'll pull you in and suck you dry ... as they have not discovered the Stillness within them, others or the Stillness out there ...

There is much to be said in regards to energy surrounding sex ... very much misunderstood in our 'new' world.  The energy surrounding sex is so powerful it can create a new life ... or it can destroy it.

Sex with another is unfortunately also a way we can for a very, very brief moment see or rather feel our true Self.  Sex without awareness will bring a temporary high like a cheap drug ... this will leave you empty, so empty ... you'll starve, crave and do anything to 'connect' again.  The cheapness of sex today is a sign of lower levels of consciousness.

Sex is therefore an easy way for those 'clever' individuals to pull you in ... and leave you totally empty.  They'll quickly move on to the next and leave you like an empty rag ... now it's your choice to crave and move on to the next ... or to find Stillness ... Awareness ... a higher level of consciousness.

We are taught not to steal, but we do steal the most valuable source out there ... we use and abuse Energy as if it is another fast food.  We steal the Light behind others eyes ...

When we are in the presence of such a great source of Energy, we should welcome the light of it ... not destroy it ... learn from it ... become It ...


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The Energy Lessons (2) ...

During my 'Natural Medicine' and Qi Qong years I've learned that there are various types of human energy:

Primordial Energy:  The prenatal energy with which every human being is born into this world ... bestowed by the the energies of the father and mother.  You have a limited supply of this and the faster it's used due to poor diet, chronic stress and 'fast living', the weaker your immune system becomes and the shorter you lifespan.

True Energy:  Postnatal energy derived from digestion, respiration, metabolism etc.  Qi Gong and Yoga improves the body's capacity to produces this type of energy ...thus conserves the limited stores of Primordial energy by enhancing the supply of True Energy.

Nourishing Energy:  The fuel of metabolism and other vital functions of organs and cells ... travelling within blood vessels and energy meridians.  The potency depends on the quality of food and water consumed, the cleanness of the air we breathe and the efficiency of the body systems.

Guardian Energy:  Moves outside the bloodstream and energy channels ... distributed evenly throughout the surface of the body ... dorms a protective shell of energy that protects against energies from the environment (extreme weather, radiation) and negative energies from other people.

The Energies from the various solid and hollow organs.

Essential Energy:  Energies derived from the conversion of the purest forms of essence in the body ... sexual fluids, hormones and neurochemicals.  When these fluids are conserved rather than dissipated, they are transformed into potent Nourishing Energy.  In the 'higher' forms of Martial Arts ejaculation control is practised for example to conserve this type of energy.

Spiritual Energy:  The most highly refined of all energies and the product of the most advance stages of practice (Qi Gong & Yoga) ... the ordinary energies of the body are transformed into pure spiritual vitality.  It enhances spiritual awareness and improves cerebral functions.

When one is aware of these types of energies, it's easy to understand how a bad lifestyle or a negative state of mind can influence or change your energy levels.  Energy can get 'stuck' within your body, your resistance against negative outside influences can decline and your awareness or consciousness can completely disappear.

It is very clear that the generation and distribution of energy throughout the body plays a huge role in the development of consciousness or awareness.  The complete waste of these energies leads to  life without awareness ... something that is very clear and present in our world today.

Most people don't know or understand what their purpose is in life ... each of us have two.  The most important one is our Inner Purpose, the same for each and all of us ... the development of consciousness ... the primary factor in creation.  Once you are aware you can listen to you own songs, develop your own dance and follow your own path ... this is your Outer Purpose, all to do with doing, but not as important as your Inner Purpose.

Today there are so many factors that destroys our energies ... the wrong food, the wrong drinks, a very fast life, stress, lack of exercise, incorrect breathing, negative emotional influences from the outside and inside ... destructive relationships, destructive sexual practices.

Again it all comes back to three things to restore balance and develop consciousness:

Discipline ... the foundation for ...

Stillness/Meditation, which again builds ...

Wisdom ... which flows right through you and the Universe.

It doesn't matter where we are in life, if we want to develop consciousness we must walk the disciplined path of a Warrior ... there's no other way ...

Monday, August 19, 2013

The Energy Lessons (1)...

I grew up in the Kavango region ... Northern Namibia, a place under the African sun with the beautiful Kavango river cutting through some amazing country.  The energy visible in the green of the trees, the darkness of the water, the cry of the Fish Eagle, the whiteness of the teeth in the smile of the Kavango native ... the trot of the Bushman ...

When I was about 14 years old, I was the lucky winner of Bilharzia, Malaria and Yellow Fever ... all in one go.  This nearly killed me.  Bilharzia is a terrible disease and played havoc in the Armed Forces of Southern Africa ... especially northern Namibia and Rhodesia, crippling many soldiers.

This parasite can live for up to 30 years in the human body.  I thought I was Bilharzia free, but only learned after the Army that I still had it.  I went through my whole 3 years in the Defence Force with Bilharzia.  I was treated again, just before I went to University ... only to realise 15 years later that I still had it.  I was last treated here in Australia ... also had some tumours removed from my bladder.  Some people get tumours in the brain and spine ... lethal, I was very lucky.

I can remember days in the Army where I couldn't get out of bed ... I kept going.  I can remember being diagnosed with Yuppie Flu (whatever that is) during my student years, only to drag myself out of bed to run the mountains of Stellenbosch ... vomiting all the way up ... feeling like a new person coming down.

I learned during these years that running in 40 degrees plus, killed every bloody thing in my body ... better than any antibiotic known to man.  I still run in the heat and I will do so until I fall over ...

Coming to Australia I visited an acupuncturist for the first time and he became a very good friend of mine ... a very religious and spiritual man with amazingly psychic abilities.  Back in '96 he told me that if I carry on in this way ... so driven, running in the heat, fighting everyone taller than me etc., I'll be a cripple within 10 years.  He saw me not that long ago and his words were, "My God, you're still young ..."  I guess I don't fall into the psychic thing ...

I'm a believer in the energy within us.  At one stage in my life, this was such a problem within a relationship ... I actually tried to kill it.  I went for hypnosis, acupuncture and homoeopathy ... I did everything except getting rid of the the family jewels.  I turned into a vegetarian,  started doing Yoga, stared at flowers, studied Buddhism and  started to meditate ... I turned into a bit of a pussy ... until someone rubbed me up the wrong way ... then the dormant but very explosive energy exploded with vengeance ...

Did any of this help with the relationship ... ???  Of course not.  Energy pushes a relationship not the lack of it ...

Don't get me wrong ... I now strongly believe in the power of meditation, the direction of Buddhist philosophy, the power of Yoga ... I'll never give this up.  A gift from a parasite called Schistosomiases (Bilharzia) ...

I have learned that you can't suppress the energy within you ... don't do it for anyone.  This is who I am ... I'm not crippled by it.  I scared many people in my life, especially relationship wise ... because they couldn't handle it.  THIS IS ME ... love it or hate it.  I know I can do this until I'm close to a 100 years old.

I'll never touch anyone or anything without my heart in my hand.  I'll never get tired running in the heat of the day.  The light behind my eyes will never go ... but I'll never wait for anyone.  I'll never again go for acupuncture or whatever to slow me down.  I don't need fakking pills to keep me going.  I'll run like the wind and if you cross me, you'll know it and you'll feel it ... just because this is who I am.

Man it feels good to be back in the saddle ... this summer I'll run naked with a spear again ... I can feel many pigs biting the dust ...


Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Light Behind Your Eyes ... The Path You Walk ...

A few days ago, I came across the following: 

"I don't date wallets or meatsuits.....it's the light behind the eyes for me. the energy."
 "Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." -Morpheus
 As I've been 'writing' and talking about this for a while ... sometimes getting the cuckoo-look or that slight lift of the eyebrow thing ... very refreshing to come across this.  Within us, we carry knowledge so ancient and so powerful ... unfortunately the majority of us choose to look outside instead of inside.
The 'Light within us' and the 'Path we walk' have much to do with our own consciousness (awareness).  The one with light behind the eyes, walking his/her own path is actually a Warrior of Life.  When you come across a person like this you'll recognise certain traits ... first there's Discipline, second there's Stillness and last ... Wisdom or the seeking of Knowledge ...
 Sit in a public place and look at people coming and going ... see if you can spot someone with 'light behind the eyes' or one that's 'walking their own path.'  You'll soon find that this is a rare find indeed ...
 The majority of us forgot our own song ... our own dance ... our own walk.  We're taught from very young to dance the dance of another ... to sing the songs of others and to walk the path others walk.  Within you, you carry the songs, the dance and the Path of You ... how come you're not Singing, Dancing and Walking this .... You???
 I believe that the majority of us knows our own Path, but choose to Walk something completely different ... why???
 You'll find that those with the Light behind the eyes, yes those who Walk the Path ... they carry a certain energy ... sometimes seen as 'arrogant.'  A Springbok pronks with purpose, not with a tail between the legs ... a lion walks with purpose, not with a lame posture ... those who Walk the Path, walks like a Warrior.  It might not fit our current Flatwhite society ... as I've learned.  They'll look straight through you ... they'll search for the light behind your eyes.    
But ... you can't be what you're not.  If the Light shines out of you and shows you Your Path ... just walk it, even if it's a 'lonely' path.  It'll only be lonely, because you've never learned to smell the flowers along the way.
You'll walk with broad shoulders, the sun will look down upon you and see what you are ... see that you're a Man or a Woman.  The Flatwhites will look at you .... try their hardest to break you down ... to something that's Not, so that you can walk and talk like them ... tail between the legs, eyes down ...
 
 You can only Walk with Light ... if you learn how to fight ... the Path of the Inner Warrior ... saying No to everything out there, saying Yes to everything that comes from inside ...

Friday, August 16, 2013

The Superb Fairywren Told Me So ...







The Fairywren knocked on my window today ... told me things to say to you ... while 'fluttering' about ...

You are not alone in this world, there are many just like you ... but they don't like to be seen, they like to be touched ... by Your hand, Your eyes, Your mind ... Your soul.  It's all up to you ... because this is exactly what you want as well ...

These Beings dwell in the higher levels of consciousness ... just like you, although you're a bit lost, as you like to plough the lower fields of consciousness .  First, you must understand the 'levels of consciousness' ... it's simple ... there are higher levels of consciousness and lower levels of consciousness.  The higher ... the less visible, the lower ... a real show pony.

This consciousness is all visible in your eyes, but your mouth argues this ... the one is High and the other is Low ... a continuous battle.  The Higher One just wants to Be, the Lower One just wants to Want ...

Every single one of us ... have the beauty of All within us.  All we have to do is to run with that ...  The more we Want, the more of Wanting we're going to get ... like hungry ghosts that can never be satisfied ...

If you need to talk ... to explain who you are to Another ... you're playing on the fields of lower consciousness.  If you look at someone and you see the light behind their eyes ... and they see yours ... no words ... you know where you are.

There's an old Taoist saying ... "If you can express it in words, it's not It."  It's all within the Knowing within you ... that feeling that runs through every single cell in you body.

The Fairywren knocked on my Window today ... told me to tell you so ...




Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Full Moon ... When I Feel You Most ...

A most beautiful sunset tonight and I watched a red crimson sky between my horse's ears ... this stirred something inside me.  I remembered some words I wrote in the early morning hours of the last full moon ...



Whenever the moon is full and covered in a veil ... the colour of a rich cream ... that is when I feel you the most.  I know you so well ... I know the battles within, when the moon pulls the Wild One and the Wolves within you.  Yes, those Ones you try so hard to hide behind layers and layers of thorn bush, carefully picked every single day and placed as the sun sets.  That's why you're never outside alone, you're busy hiding the Wildness within you ... in preparation for the night.

The 'creamness' of the full moon and the redness of your 'womeness' together stirs restlessness within your natural Wildness ... a continuous battle within you ... This is the time I sit outside, my red-feathered arrows dark red in the colour of the moon ... this is when I feel you so close ...

I loved being with you during this time, because it brought out a glimpse of the real you, the You ... you try to hide from everyone and yourself.  I know, because I touched the hollow of your back with the tip of my finger ... I felt what runs through your body.  I touched the soft spot of your neck ... with my lips, just behind your ear ... I felt what run through your Soul.

You hide yourself behind the beauty of your smile, because people only see that.  You hide the depth of your Soul behind the dark pools within your eyes ... the windows to your Soul, because people only see their own reflection staring back at them.  You hide what is inside your Heart with the quick-witted small talk, because people then can't listen to your Heart.  You are so clever at it ... but, you know I don't see any of that ... I look right into your Soul, right through the windows of your Soul.  The reason, you always feel uncomfortable when I look at you ... because I look through all the layers, all the distractions ...

Have you ever tried sitting alone outside ... watching the full moon, when everything is quiet??  A time will come where your own Wildness will force you into the Darkness, to a place of Stillness ... where you can smell the Earth and hear the beat of your own Heart.  It is here where you much crouch down, touching the Earth with the tips of your fingers.  You must listen, feel, smell and sense ... because whatever comes to you first ... you must act.  Do you know that this is exactly how you must listen to Yourself, to those feelings that you hide so deep ... those feelings which are You???

I know how to catch you totally unaware and when I break through all the barriers ... watching the full moon swim in the moistness of your eyes ... your breath totally out of control.  I lightly touch the marks you've left on my body ... it's then where the waiting begins ... I see the Wildness run free within you ... I see you chatting with the Wild One ... I see you playing with the Wolves in the light of the Moon.  Then suddenly without warning ... your eyes clear up, a darkness creeps in ... a deep seated anger arises ... all shifted over to me.  I watch with fascination ... this change ... like the brightness of the moon disappearing behind the darkness of a massive mountain.  It's time for me to go ... for you to pick up the thorn bushes ... to hide your own Wildness again.

You know I laugh at this and this feeds the flames of your anger ... it's only you running away from You.  You then carefully choose destructive measures and poisons to take you mind away from your own Wildness, only to collapse in a heap of despair ... Whenever you recover, the Wild One and the Wolves ... and me ... watch you with heads down ... in silence.  We all see more within You than you see yourself ... this is a sad moment ...

Sometimes I'm in the Shadows, watching you ... you move in this world, but you're not here ... you Wildness locked out ... by you.  Why are you hiding Yourself??  I know, but you don't ... as yet.  You avoid my stare, but you long my touch ...  I can't watch you no more, you can run free now ... because my work is done ... you HAVE seen what I saw, I know you have ...

You can run with the falseness and distractions ... short term pleasure ... .long term suffering.  You can run with the Wild One and the Wolves ... free ... It's now up to you ...

Whenever you find the Wildness within you ... whenever you find You ... you'll know how to follow my tracks ... where to find me ...

Sunday, August 4, 2013

The Call of the Moorhen ...

I wrote this a while ago ...

This evening I sat on the edge of the dam and watched the redness of the sun between the tallness of the trees.  At an exact and precise moment, when the redness was at it's brightest, the Kookaburras screamed out the death of the day.  Right in the middle of it, the Moorhen cried a single cry ... a combination of the sounds of  life and death.  I'm fascinated by the timing of it all ... as if the Kookaburras awaits the blood of the day and the Moorhen announces the end of it all ...

That something in the Moorhen's cry ... awakened something deep inside me.

... to understand this, you must listen to the cry of the Moorhen in the redness of a dying day.  It is a cry for 'love,' a cry for the end of something and the beginning of a new evening ... there's a promise to it all.

I listened to all this and I realised that this song in the redness of the evening has been playing every single night for thousands of years ... it's there and it's solid.

... so unlike the promise of 'love,' those empty words, "I love you."  The cry of the Moorhen hits me hard, in contrast to the false promise of love ...

How cheap has it become, the whisper in darkness ... the moistness of the sheets ... "I love you ...???"  Only to walk out of it ... into the redness of a quick new love ... out of it ... into another ... "I love you ..."  The end of something and the beginning of another ... a cheap currency ... a cheap game of control and promise ...

Do you place your heart in your hand when you touch someone??  Do you place your Soul in, "I love you??"

The Shout of 'Love' ... another four letter word ... for some.  There's something like respect ... oh no dear ... not respect for me, but respect for yourself ... your Soul and your own body.  The day you understand this, you'll place your heart in your hand when you touch someone and your Soul will be burned into .... "I love you ...."

The Moorhen can't cry this cry in the middle of the day ... it'll be false.  The Kookaburras can't scream the death of the day at the wrong time ... and you my dear, can't say "I love you ..." when your Soul is absent ...???

... and you the master of falseness of Word and Touch ... there's also something like trust and communication ... the reason the Moorhens and Kookaburras hang out together and sing the death and the beginning of things together.  You my dear ... you jump from the one pot of 'love' to another and you wonder why you're empty ... empty of all the beautiful things life paints in the redness of the evening ...?

My words, "I love you ..." is painted in the redness of the evening, in the cry of the Moorhen, in the scream of the Kookaburra ... my heart in my hand when I touched you ... my Soul engraved in "I love you ..."

When you look at the redness of the evening ... you remember that ...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Whispering About ...

 I took the new bow through some heavy country today, hoping to run into something ... but this is not what it is all about.  It's all about walking where others don't walk and seeing things others would never see ... it's about reading things, little things that tell stories, stories of the night before ... tracks in the sand ...  That place under a tree where some bird roost every night, you see the droppings and you wonder ... what is your name bird?
 
 The new bow ... Kassai Wolf I ... the quiver part of the pack ...

Hollow burned tree ... droppings of various creatures underneath ...
My life in Africa was full and interesting ... today many ask me, how can you live here?  The answer is simplistic ... when you see 'little things' painted by Nature, you'll be home anywhere.  The scat and tracks of a fox tell a story ... is that story that different that of a leopard?  The stomping of a kangaroo, because it sensed you first ... is that different from the alarming bark of a kudu?  Your eyes must read the same signs, your ears must pick up similar sounds ... you must read the same signs on the ground ...

Scat of a pig ...
Walking these areas, not even a kilometer from my place, I feel free ... because I must pick my ears, watch my back, read the ground, look through the bush, keep track of where I am, watch where I place my feet.  Every cell in my body suddenly awake ... I pick up the smell of pigs, the nesting place of the roo's.  I'm alive like never before ...

Last night's pig diggings for nut grass ...
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You walk with your bow in hand, arrow ready ... because anything can happen any time.  Every single time a roo spot you first ... or a rabbit, the white tail of a deer ... you know, you're lacking way, way behind.  It's time to pick up your game, time to adapt ... if you don't, you'll go hungry ... you'll die.  This is the game, the game the prey animals play with you ... some you'll never, never get ... and that's the way it should be ... they are the ones you'll sing and dance about around little fires.  You'll paint them on rock walls ... you'll respect them.  The others will fall to your silent arrows and you'll take out the weaker genes.  At the same time, you'll put yourself up for a challenge, because soon you won't be able to stalk and track the superb survivors ... now it's your turn, you'll have to pick up your game ... if you don't ... you won't eat and your genes will be scattered all over the place ...

Discovered this little waterhole, where the Dingo stopped as well ...

There are little places like this all around you ... you don't have to kill anything, but you can take up the challenge and test your own abilities against the greatest of all ...


Good mud is scarce in the granite country, but the pigs found this little wallow ...


Come spring ... I'll cross this dam with my horse ...

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Stress of Life ...??

Somewhere in '96, on the flight from South Africa to the new country ... Australia, I drowned myself in an article written by a South African scientist, who's name I forgot.  He studied and lived with baboons for several years, concentrating on the stress levels of the troop under various conditions.  This article caught my eye, because I was familiar with Eugene Marias's, 'The Soul of the Ape ...'

From a personal point of view, I'm very much aware of the stress levels in all living things ... humans, horses, dogs, fowl, game and of course ... myself.  I assume that this comes from close observation, only found in the stillness of Nature ... the same road Eugene Marais and this scientist walked.

The result of his study interest me, because it confirmed my own view of our 'Flatwhite' society.  This is what he saw in this baboon troop ...:

When things were tough, environmental conditions were dry and the predators ... mostly leopards in this case, were a threat every single moment.  Neighboring troops were desperately trying to take over their territory ... life was tough, but ... the stress levels in these baboons were nothing compared to the following ...

During good seasons, the predators concentrate on other game, the neighboring troops didn't bother, because food were in abundance, but ... the members of the troop had plenty of time to give each other a hard time.  There were constant 'disagreements,' fighting amongst each other, the picking on 'weak' individuals ... the constant push of upsetting the peace.  The stress levels measured during the 'good times' were much higher than during the 'bad times.'

This reminded me so much of our Flatwhite society, the constant "I'm so sorry I live" attitude ... the constant negativity, the fault finding maneuvers, the finger pointing, the back chatting, the back stabbing ... the walk with a thorn bush in the hand, looking for an arsehole to pull it through.  When life is good, we turn into arseholes ... on the prowl like hyenas to make someones life miserable.

... and how I've come across this ... life is good, you take care of others ... out come the thorn bush, straight through you backside ... before you could blink your eyes ...

Life was never meant to be easy ... me thinks.  How many of us have ever known hunger, death, fear, torture, war, watching a child die because there's no medical help ... but, we make others suffer, a suffering worse than all those I mentioned put together ... the slow intentional torturing of the mind and soul.

Life was never meant to be easy ....

Sunday, July 21, 2013

The Spirit of the Bow ...

 I am a strong believer in the 'Spirit of Things' ... some 'things' dead or alive were made just for you or destined for you.  The Aboriginals believe that the design of a proper didgeridoo can only fit one specific person, only that person can play that specific didgeridoo.  The Japanese belief in the spirit of the blade and the true archers from all over the world believed in the spirit of the bow ... the spirit of the arrow ...
 Hunting grounds yesterday

Today few of us make our own bows, therefore it is hard to transfer part of our own spirit to the bow.  The ancient archer took great care in selecting the material for his bow and arrows, he then very patiently sat for days beside small fires and sometimes months 'transferring spirit' to his bow and arrows by creating it from buried memories deep within himself.

Today a great bow maker or arrow maker will make these with spirit and that just might suit you.  It is possible that by touching bows and arrows that were produced in larger numbers, you can select something that carries a bit of your own spirit.  Next time you see bows and arrows and something awakens within you, touch it ... go with the feel ... try it out and see it there is a difference compared with just 'another bow and arrow feeling ...'

As I child a few traditional African longbows were made just for me, others I made myself ... only a few had spirit.  When a bow has spirit you must carefully choose the arrows with like-minded 'spirit' and only then can you test it against the ultimate ... can the 'combination of spirit' ... bow ... arrow and your own, place food on the table?

Due to the 'spirit' involved in all three participants nor the bow or arrow need to be complicated.  A 'simple' bow, a basic arrow launched from a place with Spirit will always find it's target.  No need for arrow rests, nocking points, fancy draws ... each person develops his/her own Way of the Bow that comes from Spirit ...  These techniques of hunting are still used today by the remaining hunter/gatherers and some archers that feel comfortable 'connecting' with the retained memories of the past.

I have been involved with archery all my life, starting off with very 'simplistic' longbows, made by either the Bushman of Namibia, Angola and Botswana or the Kavango tribes of Northern Namibia.  Later 'shifted' to compound bows and recurves with all the features and bling ... but there was no Spirit.  I recently touched a bow which awakened very ancient and early memories ... memories of Freedom and Spirit.  The first arrow I shot, I knew  ...
 
 Food for the table via 65# Kassa Wolf I

I took this bow to a place of Stillness, a place of small streams and thick blackberries ... red-feathered arrows flew with Spirit and placed food on my table.  No arrow rest, no nocking point, no thinking about where to anchor, how to stand ... just a natural shot with Spirit that happens long before the bow or your muscles can start to argue with the Spirit involved ...
  
 Places of Stillness where you only leave footprints behind

This to me ... the ultimate Freedom of Mind and Spirit ...